1. Is everybody hanging out without me, or is this just what life becomes?
No matter how amicable or social you once were, it’s hard to keep the connections tight. Everything is relegated to the weekends. The people we used to see everyday, we talk to once a week if we’re lucky. Where’d everybody go?
2. Should I travel more?
YOLO and FOMO have probably given airline companies extravagant profit margins after the youth picked up these two concepts. “You only live once” and “fear of missing out” makes me feel like my death is extremely imminent, and I should go do things they did in the “Bucket List” RIGHT NOW. I would argue that RELATIVELY young people are the most susceptible to social comparison (because we don’t know that it doesn’t matter yet). That plus our innate curiosity makes us want to explore everything. And there are only so many years in my twenties. 10 to be exact. And almost 6 are gone. I better go to Africa soon.
3. Am I No Longer Young and Beautiful?
Things that never used to hurt suddenly require Bengay. The gut is harder to get rid of. There is more of a feeling of heaviness as the lightless of youth falls away. We’re supposed to have $______, supposed to have these credentials, supposed to work this many hours, supposed to get married eventually… I guess you’re not that young anymore!
4. Do I love what I’m doing?
Mid twenties is the last call for shots. If you stay on this train, you know you’re probably going all the way. All the other potential careers beckon you to a life potentially more exciting, but a lot riskier as well. Is this what you want to spend your life doing? What excites you? And in a related topic…
5. Is he/she the one?
In “End of Watch”, Jake Gyllenhal doesn’t know whether or not to get married and his BFF Mexican partner said something like “I took my girl to prom, nailed it, and right after that I proposed. How did I know if she was the one? My dad asked me if I could live without her and I said yes. And that’s how I knew.”
Ultimately, all of this merely contributes to the one simple question that subsumes everything else.
Earlier in the month I wrote an article titled “The Girls Who Are Never Getting Married”. You may have read it; it continues to get an influx of negative comments to this day, as the only people that are offended are the ones that know its true. So many women were furious with the article, claiming that the man who wrote it was misogynistic, disgusting, and my favorite comment “has four girls buried under his crawl space.”
Well Elite Daily readers, I wrote that article, and I am a female. Surprised? Feeling stupid? I hope so. I wrote that article because I’m disgusted with the girls of my generation who use their sexuality to get ahead in life, and disrespect themselves on a daily basis. I’m flattered that you think I’m a male chauvinist and a creep though. I may be a bitch but I’m just being honest.
I could honestly care less if your goal in life is to get married or not. If you choose not to, that’s your choice and I hope that it makes you happy. I wrote that article because those are the women I would hate to see my close guy friends end up with, or my brothers. If any guy that I’m close with wants to pursue a long-term relationship, these are the women I hope they do that with and eventually end up with.
The 30-Year Old With The Graduate School Degree
This girl took the initiative to further her education, and wants to make something of herself career wise. She’s a hard worker and she chooses to work hard on her own. She is independent and she is the perfect alpha woman. It’s one thing to go to a four-year university and graduate with a degree and get a successful job. Trust me, I commend anyone that does that and encourage all of you to do so.
The thing about a graduate of graduate school that intrigues me is that they knew that it would mean more work and less partying. Not many people are willing to pay ridiculous amounts of money to further their education. I like a girl like this because you know that she’s smart, you know that she has drive, and you know that she’ll keep you stimulated. She is the farthest thing away from that club whore you usually hang out with that is most likely blown out down there by now.
The Best Of Both Worlds
The perfect girl. She’s smart, she reads during her free time but watches shitty television. She loves to shop and present herself well but feels most comfortable with her feet up on the coffee table, drinking a few beers, watching the game with the guys. This girl can laugh at stupid girly nonsense but still take a joke when the guys she’s friends with try to bust her balls.
I want guys to end up with a girl like this, because I feel like they’ll never be bored. They’ll get the sexiness and femininity that they crave along with a best friend, because relationships almost never work if you’re not friends with your significant other. My parents have been married for 25 years and still chase each other around the house and play tag and that’s because my mom is a down ass bitch who loves Led Zeppelin and stilettos. Oh shit, I called my mom a bitch, that’s offending feminists right? Sorry I’m not.
The best of both worlds is truly what it means. It’s the girl that will pig out with you on burgers and hotdogs but still be so hot about it. She may even know how to play Madden. This is the girl that will go and buy beer and steak for you and your friends during man night. There is nothing like being with a girl that is just down with everything.
The Girl Who’s Got Her Own
Just like the annoyingly catchy Ne-Yo song says. The girl who’s completely independent. She wants you but she sure as hell doesn’t need you. She’s educated, she has a job, she pays her bills on time, buys all of her own shit, completely takes care of herself and is more than happy with her life. You want to go out with your guys? Cool, do that, she’ll call you tomorrow, cause she’ll be out doing her own thing.
A girl like this is an absolute keeper. She can be in a relationship, but she doesn’t need you to take care of her because she can take care of you. What guy wouldn’t want this? It’s borderline terrifying when a girl absolutely needs you in her life to make her happy.
So Elite Daily, that’s who I would want my brothers or my good guy friends ending up with. I know what some of you are thinking, “girls like this don’t exist”. I hear it everyday in these offices, but guess what, they do. They exist and I’d much rather all of the men out there wait and find one, instead of wasting their time on a girl who doesn’t respect themselves. Some may say these girls are unicorns and don’t exist but I beg to differ, try looking in the right places and not the club you frequently visit.
On one hand, it can seem like everyone around the world is the same. From one country to the next, we all want the same things: to enjoy life, to live with a notable purpose, to be healthy, to do that which will quench our flame of ambition, and to do good for those we love. Yet, despite the similarities, we are also all completely different.
The fact that humans vary vastly is nothing short of a good thing. Otherwise, how boring would the world be if, from one end of the globe to the other – we all looked, thought, perceived, and acted the same way? The uniqueness of character of both individuals and nationalities is what gives our world its vibe.
This uniqueness ranges, not only from physical aspects to cultural traits, but also includes differences in mentality. Although variety is a positive aspect, there are certain differences in mentality throughout society worth thinking about.
One difference that should be taken into consideration is how people choose to approach life. While some of us tend to be inspired, positive, and energetic, there are others who lead a comparably boring and trifling existence. These others do nothing interesting or special with their lives, and instead of living, they merely exist.
It’s as if they are simply waiting to die. Perhaps the latter lost their inspiration or hope in life, or just don’t know how good life can be. But let us tell you, life is definitely best when you feel inspired and revitalized, and when you have a desire to conquer the world.
There are so many people who exist, but who have ceased to live. Who get so caught up in fitting in, and being a part of the flock, that they do not sparkle. Trading ambition and the desire to face challenges for a minor existence may seem like the easier and more relaxing way to go; however, in the end, the hustle and bustle of life is always more fulfilling.
In some areas, there tends to be a more ever-present energy and vibe than in others. Yet this vibe doesn’t come from aesthetics, architecture, or the grandeur of our cities. It comes from the streets. For example, New York from afar is so obviously a concrete jungle, filled with monotonous brick buildings, walls, and pavement.
Most of New York isn’t what one might refer to as particularly beautiful. Yet from within, from inside those streets, you can feel the energy and the power of the city. It is the people who make New York what it is: arguably the world’s most exciting and inspiring place.
Even in countries plagued by poverty and political problems, one can still find people who seem to find pleasures in the smallest of things and live exciting, passionate lives, making do with what they have.
In other places where people seem to have everything in terms of resources, healthcare, education, and the likes of such, you will see people walk around with completely blank, unsatisfied-looking faces, with their minds focused on the most insignificant of things. Hiding from real life and simply getting by may be comfortable, yet it is a mentality best left for when you are old, tired, and have already experienced all that you needed to.
One of my mentors once explained to me that mentality is more important than most people know to be true. She told me, “The body is just flesh. Your mind is everything that you are, everything that you do, and everything you are capable of.” Therefore, being inspired and passionate is a necessary state of mind as a precondition to being happy and fulfilled.
Some people may not know how to feel this state of mind because they never have, or at least not for long enough. Yet regardless of whether you are already a passionate person, or if you feel bored and uninspired and need a little nudge, try the following:
Think about some of your most memorable first times. The first time you experienced some of the most important moments and rights of passages in your life. Remember the first time you drove a car, the first time you fell in love, and the first time you woke up in someone else’s bed. The first time you went away to a university and the first time you got that job you wanted. Think about the first time you traveled alone and that feeling you get before you travel anywhere new.
Do you remember how these moments made you feel? They made you feel a bit nervous, yet excited. You probably had butterflies in your stomach, yet you felt good. That feeling is called living. As long as you keep experiencing this feeling of eagerness and exhilaration, you know you are learning, growing, becoming better, and more fulfilled. You know you are alive. But the moment you stop feeling, when you stop having emotion, when you aren’t eager for the next moment of your life to come, you know your life has temporarily ceased.
It’s important to strive to always feel this way; it’s important to surround yourself with the right people and pursue the endeavors that put you in this state of mind as much as you can.
People may vary from place to place, from city to city, and from country to country, but to some extent, passionate people exist in all parts of the world we live in. So wherever you are, always remember that to live is always greater than to merely exist.
Happiness, the one thing that we are all pursuing in this world. Being truly happy is really the reason you do what you do. There are things that you have to do and then there are things that you do for your enjoyment. The more that you work towards doing things for your enjoyment rather than doing things that you force upon yourself then you will be truly happy.
Although there is no one path that will lead you to happiness, it is your job to figure out what makes you happy and what road you should take. There will be people and signs to guide you along the way but ultimately no one is going to sit there with a map telling you what path you should take. In the end, it all comes down to who you are as a person and the reasons you do what you do.
In order to be happy, you must define what happiness means to you and what you’re going to do to get there. Millennials have skewed perception of what happiness means and therefore we are a generation full of unhappy people. We concentrate on things that don’t matter, which just bring us more stress and usually cause us to move in circles. It is time we figured out what makes us happy so that we can live a fulfilling life. Here are the reasons you aren’t happy:
It’s time you grow up and officially move on from your ex. There is no need to let your past hold you back, what has happened is done and will never be again. You should stop wasting your time following your ex on any social media, it’s only going to bring up unnecessary thoughts and feelings that you really need to get over. Also who cares if the person your ex is with now is worse or better than you, it’s his or her decision and you can’t do anything about it. You have enough things to worry about now, you shouldn’t be slowing yourself down with this unnecessary baggage.
Instead of being the best ‘you’ that you can be, you’re wasting your time trying to emulate others. This is truly a waste of the great person you are, stop worrying about what others think of you. Your perception of happiness is skewed because you are beginning to place other people’s perception of happiness ahead of yours. This is how you find yourself in a never-ending spiral of misery.
Do things that make you happy and everything else will fall into place. Life is about being comfortable in your own skin and doing the things that are enjoyable to you. There is no need for you to be out there to impress other people, if they don’t like you for who you are then they weren’t meant to be your friends anyway.
The job you currently have is making you miserable.
Boiler Room
One of the things that can make you unhappy is working at a job you hate. There is nothing worse than the feeling of waking up every morning to get ready to work at a job you can’t stand. Although the economy sucks and this was the only job you can find, it’s beginning to wear thin.
You can’t leave just yet because you need the money to pay off your student loans, which keep coming in each month so for now you’re just stuck. Hold on their buddy, let’s hope the economy gets better and you can get a job in a field you actually like.
Although you may have been through it all, you still find yourself having to go to every event with the same people over and over. Although you know it’s not going to be as great as it may seem on Instagram of Facebook, you still want to go just in case something happens. FOMO has plagued Generation-Y and it is now the reason we go to events in the first place.
Stop concerning yourself with being everything, the biggest killer in FOMO is not giving yourself alone time because you’re too worried something spectacular may happen and you won’t be there to witness it.
College has left you in debt and has wasted 4 years of your life.
You’re still unemployed and finding a job with your major is proving difficult. Although you may have gone to a great school and had an amazing time, it hasn’t really done much to get you a job. All those nights drinking Natty Lights and doing keg stands can’t be put on your resume and you’re desperate to find a job. As you sit there unemployed and your student loans are just lying there waiting to be paid, you begin to question your decision to go to college in the first place.
You’re trying to do too many things at one time.
We’re all on the road to success, while there is no one true path, there you are trying to find a road that will take you to where you want to be. This is extremely stressful as time is on your side and you are wasting a lot of energy trying to do many things. Diversity is great for your stock portfolio, but when it comes to your life, you’re just wearing yourself out.
If you’re one of those people who constantly finds yourself behind tasks and always getting things done at the last second, then you’re trying to do too much. You should look for balance and find things that you can relate to and you will be able to prioritize better.
You’re just sitting around waiting for something great to happen.
8 Tracks
Greatness doesn’t come to those who wait, if you want to be great, you’re going to have to go and put yourself out there. If you find yourself waiting for things to happen then you are going to be one miserable person. Get up and go! Move yourself forward, do something that is going to bring you one step closer to greatness.
Life is a marathon, don’t be a bystander who is sitting around waiting for something to happen. The next thing you know, you’re 30 years old still living at home, waiting for something to pop up so you can act on it.
You think there is such a thing as a “perfect partner.”
Life isn’t a Disney movie and no we don’t get our happily ever afters. You can’t just sit around with a checklist waiting for someone to fill out every one of your demands, it just doesn’t work like that. Life isn’t about finding something that’s perfect because perfect doesn’t exist, and once you realize this, you will no longer be alone.
Put yourself out there and take away your checklist, because we all know that some of those things you have as requirements are pretty unrealistic. Find a good balance and know what you really need in a partner vs. what you simply want.
You don’t have an appreciation for the little things in life.
Life isn’t always going to be some awesome fantasy where you get everything that you want. We’re all adults here and far gone are the times where we could just ask for things and get them. Although our parents may have spoiled us, the real world has proven to be a rude awakening. Stop worrying about always being satisfied, the world isn’t here to please you, actually people couldn’t really care less if you’re happy or not. Don’t take the little things for granted, they are just like little gifts throughout the day that you must appreciate if you want to live a happy and meaningful life.
In order to be happy, you have to understand what happiness means to you as an individual person. Happiness is a subjective phenomenon and it only comes to those who have a firm understanding of what they describe to be happiness. If you really want to be happy, you’re going to have to rid yourself of those unrealistic standards that are holding you back.
You expect your life to be special just because everyone has been telling you that you are special since day one. Now you sit around waiting for something grand to happen so you can be happy. If you place realistic standards on your happiness and look for the things that really make you happy then you wouldn’t have to worry about trying to chase happiness — rather you would just be happy.
Bonus: You’re just not having consistent enough sex.
Stress builds up and it is your job to manage your stress levels. There is no better feeling than being able to just go home and get a load off after a stressful day. What can be more soothing than great sex after a rough day? Have it consistently and you will notice an improvement in your mood and energy throughout the day. It’s part of life and you need to get yours if you want to stay sane in the world.
