The 10 Reasons You Aren’t Happy

Happiness, the one thing that we are all pursuing in this world. Being truly happy is really the reason you do what you do. There are things that you have to do and then there are things that you do for your enjoyment. The more that you work towards doing things for your enjoyment rather than doing things that you force upon yourself then you will be truly happy.

Although there is no one path that will lead you to happiness, it is your job to figure out what makes you happy and what road you should take. There will be people and signs to guide you along the way but ultimately no one is going to sit there with a map telling you what path you should take. In the end, it all comes down to who you are as a person and the reasons you do what you do.

In order to be happy, you must define what happiness means to you and what you’re going to do to get there. Millennials have skewed perception of what happiness means and therefore we are a generation full of unhappy people. We concentrate on things that don’t matter, which just bring us more stress and usually cause us to move in circles. It is time we figured out what makes us happy so that we can live a fulfilling life. Here are the reasons you aren’t happy:

You still haven’t gotten over your ex.

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It’s time you grow up and officially move on from your ex. There is no need to let your past hold you back, what has happened is done and will never be again. You should stop wasting your time following your ex on any social media, it’s only going to bring up unnecessary thoughts and feelings that you really need to get over. Also who cares if the person your ex is with now is worse or better than you, it’s his or her decision and you can’t do anything about it. You have enough things to worry about now, you shouldn’t be slowing yourself down with this unnecessary baggage.

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You compare yourself to everyone.

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Instead of being the best ‘you’ that you can be, you’re wasting your time trying to emulate others. This is truly a waste of the great person you are, stop worrying about what others think of you. Your perception of happiness is skewed because you are beginning to place other people’s perception of happiness ahead of yours. This is how you find yourself in a never-ending spiral of misery.

Do things that make you happy and everything else will fall into place. Life is about being comfortable in your own skin and doing the things that are enjoyable to you. There is no need for you to be out there to impress other people, if they don’t like you for who you are then they weren’t meant to be your friends anyway.

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The job you currently have is making you miserable.

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One of the things that can make you unhappy is working at a job you hate. There is nothing worse than the feeling of waking up every morning to get ready to work at a job you can’t stand. Although the economy sucks and this was the only job you can find, it’s beginning to wear thin.

You can’t leave just yet because you need the money to pay off your student loans, which keep coming in each month so for now you’re just stuck. Hold on their buddy, let’s hope the economy gets better and you can get a job in a field you actually like.

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You still suffer from FOMO.

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Although you may have been through it all, you still  find yourself having to go to every event with the same people over and over. Although you know it’s not going to be as great as it may seem on Instagram of Facebook, you still want to go just in case something happens. FOMO has plagued Generation-Y and it is now the reason we go to events in the first place.

Stop concerning yourself with being everything, the biggest killer in FOMO is not giving yourself alone time because you’re too worried something spectacular may happen and you won’t be there to witness it.

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College has left you in debt and has wasted 4 years of your life.

You’re still unemployed and finding a job with your major is proving difficult. Although you may have gone to a great school and had an amazing time, it hasn’t really done much to get you a job. All those nights drinking Natty Lights and doing keg stands can’t be put on your resume and you’re desperate to find a job. As you sit there unemployed and your student loans are just lying there waiting to be paid, you begin to question your decision to go to college in the first place.

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You’re trying to do too many things at one time.

We’re all on the road to success, while there is no one true path, there you are trying to find a road that will take you to where you want to be. This is extremely stressful as time is on your side and you are wasting a lot of energy trying to do many things. Diversity is great for your stock portfolio, but when it comes to your life, you’re just wearing yourself out.

If you’re one of those people who constantly finds yourself behind tasks and always getting things done at the last second, then you’re trying to do too much. You should look for balance and find things that you can relate to and you will be able to prioritize better.

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You’re just sitting around waiting for something great to happen.

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Greatness doesn’t come to those who wait, if you want to be great, you’re going to have to go and put yourself out there. If you find yourself waiting for things to happen then you are going to be one miserable person. Get up and go! Move yourself forward, do something that is going to bring you one step closer to greatness.

Life is a marathon, don’t be a bystander who is sitting around waiting for something to happen. The next thing you know, you’re 30 years old still living at home, waiting for something to pop up so you can act on it.

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You think there is such a thing as a “perfect partner.”

Life isn’t a Disney movie and no we don’t get our happily ever afters. You can’t just sit around with a checklist waiting for someone to fill out every one of your demands, it just doesn’t work like that. Life isn’t about finding something that’s perfect because perfect doesn’t exist, and once you realize this, you will no longer be alone.

Put yourself out there and take away your checklist, because we all know that some of those things you have as requirements are pretty unrealistic. Find a good balance and know what you really need in a partner vs. what you simply want.

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You don’t have an appreciation for the little things in life.

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Life isn’t always going to be some awesome fantasy where you get everything that you want. We’re all adults here and far gone are the times where we could just ask for things and get them. Although our parents may have spoiled us, the real world has proven to be a rude awakening. Stop worrying about always being satisfied, the world isn’t here to please you, actually people couldn’t really care less if you’re happy or not. Don’t take the little things for granted, they are just like little gifts throughout the day that you must appreciate if you want to live a happy and meaningful life.

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Your idea of happiness is a little unrealistic.

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In order to be happy, you have to understand what happiness means to you as an individual person. Happiness is a subjective phenomenon and it only comes to those who have a firm understanding of what they describe to be happiness. If you really want to be happy, you’re going to have to rid yourself of those unrealistic standards that are holding you back.

You expect your life to be special just because everyone has been telling you that you are special since day one. Now you sit around waiting for something grand to happen so you can be happy. If you place realistic standards on your happiness and look for the things that really make you happy then you wouldn’t have to worry about trying to chase happiness — rather you would just be happy.

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Bonus: You’re just not having consistent enough sex.

Stress builds up and it is your job to manage your stress levels. There is no better feeling than being able to just go home and get a load off after a stressful day. What can be more soothing than great sex after a rough day? Have it consistently and you will notice an improvement in your mood and energy throughout the day. It’s part of life and you need to get yours if you want to stay sane in the world.

Credit: EDDIE CUFFIN

Everyone Goes Through It: The Life Lessons You Learn From Dating A Cheater

You think everything is going great in your relationship: you trust your partner, you communicate well, everything appears perfect on the surface — that is until you find out your partner has cheated. This is the worst thing a person can do in a relationship and is a huge deal breaker for the majority of people. It’s hard to get over and, in a lot of cases, nearly impossible.

It takes a toll on your self-confidence and your ego. You are plagued with endless amounts of questions: how could this happen to me? Where did it all go wrong? And so on and so forth. There’s no doubt that this will haunt your future relationships no matter how hard you try to let it go. This is just one way that baggage will transfer from one relationship to another. How can you learn to let your guard down and try to trust again when someone has wronged you so terribly?

The hardest life experiences will teach you valuable lessons and mold you into a better person. They prepare you to handle any similar situations that may arise. Let’s take a look at some of the lessons you learn from dating a cheater:

1. You deserve better

What you settle for in life is what you believe you deserve. If someone is going to disregard your feelings in such an extreme manner, chances are you are going to reach your breaking point. No one deserves to be treated like sh*t and by allowing this behavior to continue, you are allowing this person to treat you in such a manner. You have your own value and it does not need to be validated by another person.

You create your own worth, not someone else. You’re the one that makes yourself happy, no one else can do this for you. Sure, a relationship may add to your personal happiness, but it’s you who gets you there. If someone is treating you in a way that prevents this, it’s in your best interest to cut him or her out of your life.

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2. You can learn to let go

When past endeavors leave you hurt and empty, they are difficult to ignore because no one wants to go through that pain again. How do you open up enough to trust again and risk being hurt all over? Every fling you’ve had or will have in the future will affect your others. This is all part of life, but how it affects you is your choice.

Holding onto resentment does more harm than good and does not punish the one whom committed the crime. All it does is detract from your present state of mind and your personal happiness.

3. You learn to rely on yourself

People are inherently selfish, so you always need to look out for yourself first. You finally realize that happiness isn’t contingent upon anyone but yourself. Long gone are the notions that you need to wait for someone to come along and make your life worth living. This could not be further from the truth — you make your life worth living. At the end of the day, the only person you can without a doubt rely on is yourself. Many people will claim to have your back, but when push comes to shove, they are nowhere to be found.

4. You realize how important personal happiness is

The key to happiness is feeling comfortable in your own skin. A strong sense of self-esteem lies at this foundation. The biggest mistake people make is allowing someone else to determine their level of self-satisfaction. Why are you giving your partner this much power over your own life? You need to take control of your sh*t, first and foremost.

5. You understand when a relationship is really over

Sometimes relationships naturally fizzle out or something disastrous happens, whatever the cause may be, when someone cheats, you become aware of what your breaking point really is. Can you handle that your partner strayed or did he or she commit an unforgivable crime? Cheating puts things in perspective and allows you to gain an outside perspective on the relationship.

6. You learn your standards for a relationship

Some of life’s most valuable lessons are learned the hard way and sometimes you don’t know what you want until you realize what it is you don’t want. If you think you can tolerate this kind of behavior, then you know what your standards are and, if not, well you learn something in that regard as well.

7. If you feel like you can’t trust someone, there’s usually a reason

Trusting your gut is an important feeling you need to listen to. If you are suspicious of your partner’s behavior, there’s a reason for that. There’s a line between paranoia and valid suspicion. You know your partner’s behaviors better than anyone, so if you think they are doing something out of the ordinary, chances are you could be correct.

8. There’s no valid reason someone stays “friends” with an ex

More often than not, people cheat with their exes. Perhaps this is because they already hooked up with them before and the chances they would do it again are high. Remaining friends with an ex is a touchy subject, especially for the new girlfriend or boyfriend. If you are dating someone else, do you really need to keep in contact with someone you had a sexual past with? Don’t you have enough friends? Can things ever just be platonic between two people who used to date?

9. You learn you don’t have the power to change people

You either accept people for who they are or you do not associate with them. This is an impossible task too many people try to take on in their relationships and in their friendships. Trying to mold people into the way you wish they were is inherently disastrous. If someone wants to change, they have to do it on their own, you cannot force their hand. Implementing change within ourselves is hard enough and trying to change the way someone else behaves is even harder.

Credit: ASHLEY FERN